Yes, Venus in Aries. She Loved Like a Pirate.

(That's how I think of Venus in Aries, they love like pirates. Don't ask me what that means. Truly I don't know, I can't tell you. It's just what I think.)

In Travel

On going 'round to places

far and near

I always have this thought:

"He has been here."

Or else, "This place has never known

his face."

And thinking thus I label each

A blest or cursed place.

June 9, 1939

(There is an accent handwritten over the "-ed" of "cursed" here so that you'll pronounce it as another syllable.)

MY LOVE AND MY HEART

My love will follow you always,

My love will never end.

And though you break my heart, dear,

My love will make it mend.

The thought of losing you, dear one,

Will cause my heart to ache;

But, oh, as long as joy is yours

My true heart cannot break.

June 17, 1939

(I think my grandmother was a Gemini but she is right on the dadgum cusp and the change happened at about eleven in the morning that day so I would really need to get a birth certificate to be sure. She was in love with John Willen when she was twelve, I found that out in a yearbook from her school, and I don't know who the guy who went to war was, that might have been made up in those war poems from a few blog entries ago but there's no telling. Gemini people are always falling in love over and over again.)

OBEDIENCE, BUT--

I can force my eyes from you.

I can trust my voice with you.

I can stand near you quiet as a nun.

I can dance with you lightly,

Answer questions politely,

Even see you with her and not run.

I've trained body and mind

Not to start at your coming

But to keep themselves always

Tonelessly drumming.

Those two I can master

But I've tried all in vain

And I can't make my heart stop

Calling your name!

May 27, 1939

"The Day You Went Away--"

The day you went away

The sun lost half its golden light.

The Spring that had been on its way

Took sudden flight.

The little birds that had begun to build

their summer homes

Saw Spring had flown, and so they, too,

decided to be gone.

And Life, itself, which had begun to be so

gay and free,

Retired into a cold dark cell

The day you went from me.

May 18, 1939

MY THOUGHTS

My thoughts

turn always back to you

Like bees who can do naught

save gather honey,

Storing it in hives.

But honey is useless

until the master finds it

and takes it for himself.

June 1, 1939

Night in the Park

In the cold, misty moonlight

I sit and wait,

he does not come.

I watch the couples walking

through the park

With arms entwined,

Their voices like the

mutterings of ghost people--

Far away and hushed.

The cold, pearl moon rides high

Away from earth--yet

wrapping it in cold, cold mist

And the dark night makes me conscious

of its kiss.

May, 1939

"Like the Streamlet--"

Like the streamlet that flows

down the river to sea,

So my mind's little thoughts

keep returning to thee.

Like the salmon who turns

to her birthplace to spawn,

My old thoughts of thee

into new ones are born.

Like the sunflower follows

her god through the sky,

So my heart follows thee

in my thoughts 'til I die.

June 8, 1939

Sayonara ("Since it must be so")

Someday in years to come, my love,

You'll know that this is best,

This parting now before it's late

And we have found Life's jest.

You were not meant for me, my dear,

Nor was I made for you--

For we are worlds and worlds apart

And love would never do.

Be only glad that we have found

The way that's fair and true--

Be glad--pray God you'll never miss

my love as I miss you.

June 9, 1939

(They musta broken up the night of June 8th. It's obvious that I'm obsessed with details of my grandmother's real life as there are not any and I have to keep filling in the blanks myself if I want to imagine her as ever being real.)